Saturday, May 23, 2009

Emo


Pig weeming crowned me Emo-Queen.
Always complaining to him about my life.
That’s why he crowned me that.
Maybe I am an truly Emo Queen

From all my previous old rotten post
Is all emo emo emo emo emo
Forever emo post

I always wanted to have a happy day.
Like those time I used to have during high school
Those time,
I never alone
I never a loner

Now,
I am alone
I am a loner

No matter do what is always alone
I hate being alone.
Although sometimes is good

But when I need someone
I can’t find anyone.

When I need a hug
I can’t find any hug

When I need a shoulder to lean on
I can’t find any shoulder to lean on

When I need an ear
I can’t find any

Slowly I found that I don’t have friends
Maybe I’m good at making people hate me
Maybe I’m destined to be a loner

So damned emo now
Tears is like beads on the broken threads,
Keep falling…. Non-stop
When can it stop?
I don’t know…

Always wearing mask
Is so suffering

I wanna go home to my parents
I don’t want to stay here anymore
This is torturing
I’m not as strong as you think I am
I’m not as independent as you think I am……

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The evil-est part of human is tongue
The words that came out from it
Is like a knife
Each words = each stab from the knife
Keeps bleeding, so painful
Shut up is a lesson I’ve learned to prevent these things happens.

I regret for making that decision
I made you suffer
But
My heart hurts more.
What can I do?
I don’t know anymore.




so damned fucked up now...




Monday, May 18, 2009

Agony


I feel so bad for doing this

This makes me live in agony

But

That also makes me live in agony



Who can tell me what to do?








This sucks like shit….


Saturday, May 16, 2009

enjoyed

this morning woke up early and went to college to meet up with shi hooi because both of us had appointment with our FYP supervisor to discuss on our progression.

after that i went to sunway pyramid alone and shopped. Damned how i miss shopping alone. hahaha... The last time i went shopping alone i think it was few months back.
I went to Padini Concept store to buy clothes and shoes, hanged inside there for around one hour plus... and i only got 3 clothes 0 shoes (cuz cant find any nice one).

then went into Nichii, Elements, Sub, MNG, etc etc hahaha...

met up with my cousin at around 4++

wanted to watch Star Trek but no more ticket then we watch I love you, Man.
Nice movie for me, is about friendships. Love it. I might ended up like the male lead in the future. hahahaha...

After that hanged around with my cousin. then took LRT back home at around 2130 i think.
met LeeLoo and Alvin on the Dang Wangi station.
reached home at 11pm damned tired...

but i enjoyed myself today. Miss shopping alone... hahaha... Loving it! although is kinda lonely but still i like it! =)

Friday, May 15, 2009

Welcome to my Life

I was listening to Hitz.Fm today and then this song, Welcome to my Life by Simple Plan came out.
Was listening and found out that the lyrics are like singing out my own deepest voice.
This is what i've been feeling for this few times...
sighhhhhhhh



Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Run and Hide


Where can I run to?
I just want to run away from all of this
Can’t I just continue to live in my own dream, my own world
I just want to hide away from all of this

Why do you have to come and ruin all of this?
I just wanna be myself is it that hard?
I just want to escape from all of this…


Saturday, May 09, 2009

Appreciation

kor says " we need to know what things should be appreciate and what things should not be..."


spend so much things to trying to get to you...
but
you never get me


i just a simple normal girl

but

im ended up to be
a hard-to-get hard-to-understand
and
a good hider
an good actress
of my mood

Thursday, May 07, 2009

one word

i got a feeling that i'm falling into a endless darkness.
i can't really know what will come next
when will i reach the bottom.

this kind of feelings scares me a lot
i love being with people
who really does appreciate and knows me

i've already been with you for so damned long
and yet
why i can understand your thoughts and you can't
i tried my best to understand and know you
and why you can't do it the same?

one sentence of yours
really hurt me a lot...
although you never thought about that...
but still it really hurts a lot
i once wanna give up on this
but
i stil tried my best to keep it
and yet
you keep hurting me from time to time
do you know?
crying over and over again over this matter
when will it over?

someone tells me to give up
since that is already making me miserable...
maybe is time to do so.......

"Life is full of set back.. It just a matter that when you fall you gotta stand up and goes on pretend nothing happens but learned from the set backs and not repeat it again"

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

all in one


Perseverance

Is a thing that I’m lacking
How am I going to have it?
Persevere in doing something
Persevere in learning something
Although at the beginning I always have the heart to do it properly
But
When is in the middle, I always give up
Procrastinate is always the reason
Later this later that.
Take learning guitar for example
Although teacher said I’m a fast learner
Thru half way, procrastinate won
And I’m lazy to learn it
Now my guitar is sitting at the corner so lonely with dust, spider web all over it……


Confidence
Is a thing that I’ve lost
People always said that I’m confident doing this doing that…
I used to feel that too
But now
I don’t…
I always thinks that I’m not capable of doing it
Although there’s a lot people saying that I am
Am I?
Am I really able to?
I don’t know anymore…
When can my confidence come back to me?


Lost
Is a thing that I’m feeling always
From time to time
I’m so lost
Don’t know whether to go this way or that way
Once I really wanna give up on my studies
Due to some things happens
Although I love my course a lot
This is a road that I’ve chosen
Who else to blame for the misery but me


Alone
Is a thing that becoming my friend
Alone doing this and that
Weekend stay at home
While “friends” goes out without asking
Maybe being alone is also a good thing
But I’m afraid of loneliness
I really do


Happy
is a thing that i hard to catch
I’m happy
When I’m working
But when I’m home
Is totally a different feeling

There’s always laughter there
The feeling Is different from when I’m in classes and at home
And I didn’t laugh so much ever since my Degree year...
I’m really enjoying myself working

With all those crazy gang, LeeLoo (who claim to be my BFF… lolz ), weiyoong (annoying one but funny), Kenneth ( who is our Big bro), CheeYee( who is our adorable nanny), Woei Jye (quiet and yet sometimes funny) etc etc
I think I will really miss you all when I finish my training…

Holiday is coming soon…
Where can I go?
most probably stay at home and rot....
And
I’m not going back home to celebrate Mother’s Day..
How friggin’ Sad….





ps: abang... ive updated... dont say i din update... hahah..=P


Monday, May 04, 2009

Things are not always what they seems to be



Things are not always what they seems to be



Everything have their own perspective

And

Is how you see the things is…



Life Unfair

Life Cruel

Life Miserable

That’s what mostly people thinks

Include me

From all my old rotten post

You guys can see that

I was living in a miserable life

Full of sadness




But now

I've learned to look at things the other way round

Try looking at the good way

Don’t always look the bad side

Every things has it’s good and bad

Just that most people are attract to the "bad"

From now, look at the "good"

it makes your heart feel much more better




Nowadays,

Before I leave me house,

I will look at the mirror and says

“A new day, smile at everything no matter what”




Why live a day of sadness?

That’s only make my ownselves suffer

Live a day of Happiness

it will makes me happy

and

That will also pass it to others around me

so

SMILE at everything! =)